Have you ever wondered why an activity, thought, or person can have a negative impact on you while others bring positivity and joy?
The reason for this is that we measure our interactions, thoughts, and decisions against our own personal values.
Values are the things that matter to us, such as our aspirations, how we want to make a difference in the world, or how we prioritize our time.
Values can be thought of as an umbrella of beliefs that guide our daily actions.
- Each value is a spoke on that umbrella, and as we navigate our day, we compare and contrast each decision or interaction with our values to determine if they align.
- As we go about our day each decision or interaction we have is rubbed against your umbrella of values for you to compare and contrast if this action, thought or person matches up to your beliefs.
Picture values as a way that you measure the world & especially as the flag that you fly – They encompass the essence of you.
Values are what define us, and they can influence our decisions.
- For example, if you value spending time with your family, you’ll likely make choices that prioritize that time.
- On the other hand, if you value family time above all else, you may feel upset or resentful if asked to work extra hours that take you away from that time.
We all have a unique set of values and priorities that shape who we are and guide our decisions.
It’s easy to lose sight of our values amidst the chaos of daily life, which is why it’s important to regularly reflect on what truly matters to us and make conscious efforts to align our actions with those values.
Here’s a 3-step process to help you get clear on your values to start living in alignment
Step 1: Know yourself – very well
The first step is to understand your values and how they relate to different areas of your life.
- Take the time to reflect on what you value most, and consider whether your current habits and actions align with those values. If not, consider what changes you can make to align better.
What are your values?
If I was to ask you (this isn’t a test so it’s ok if you don’t know the answer) quickly, what are your top 3-5 values?
- If you know your values off the top, that’s great – continue on to help determine how your values are showing up in your life and tips on where you can check in with your values to enhance your life.
- If you don’t know your values I offer a free worksheet to help determine them.
- You can request a copy of the values exercise workbook here when you sign up for my email list.
How do your values relate to areas of your life?
Are there areas of your life where you feel fulfilled and satisfied?
Are there areas where you feel unfulfilled or like something is missing?
Take some time to reflect on your current actions and habits. Are they aligned with your values and priorities? If not, are there any changes you can make to align them better?
- One exercise that can help with this step is to make a list of your daily activities and then rate them on a scale of 1-10 based on how much they align with your values and priorities.
- This can help you identify areas where you may need to make changes.
- Another way is to simply ask yourself if that activity feels battery-filling or battery-draining to you.
- It’s a clear way to check in with yourself & discover your feelings about day-to-day activities.
Step 2: Grow and play – find alignment
The next step is to grow and expand in areas that align with your values and priorities.
- This may involve taking on new challenges, learning new skills, or seeking out new opportunities. Remember that growth can be uncomfortable and challenging, but be kind and compassionate with yourself as you work towards growth.
You might want to find more ways to be creative at work (career crafting) or you might find adding more creative pursuits in your private time gives you the stratification and fulfillment your want.
- One exercise that can help with this step is to set a small, actionable goal that aligns with your values and priorities i.e. pursue more creativity in your cooking style.
- Then, take the steps necessary to achieve that goal, no matter how small.
What’s one small thing you can do this week that moves towards your goal to expand your ability to live in alignment with values?
Doing this can help build momentum and give you a sense of accomplishment as you work towards bigger goals.
Step 3: Bloom & innovate
The final step is to continuously evolve and innovate in alignment with your values and priorities.
- This may mean trying new things, taking risks, and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Keep an open mind and be willing to try new things, and consider activities that combine your values.
It’s important to remember that innovation doesn’t always come from big, grandiose ideas. Sometimes, small changes can have a big impact and lead to big breakthroughs.
- One exercise that can help with this step is to try something new every day, no matter how small.
- This can be as simple as trying a new food, building time for people that matter to you, or learning a new skill. The key is to keep an open mind and be willing to try new things.
- You can also consider activities that combine your values.
- Do you value time with your spouse, friends, or kids, plus value physical activity? Find a way to spend quality time with them while doing something active, like hiking, skating, or even swimming at the beach.
One of my top values is Adventure. I love seeking out new things to do or even new ways to do the things I’m already doing. I ask myself how do I kick it up fun & adventure a notch in activities? Sometimes it’s adding a cool name or unique KPI to things, sometimes it’s adding fun people to an activity.
Dig deeper into knowing your values
Take some time to contemplate these coaching questions that could help you reflect on your current situation. identify areas for improvement, and take action toward living in alignment with your unique values and priorities:
My coaching questions for you
- What are the most important things in your life right now?
- What are your core values, and how do they guide your decisions and actions?
- What are some things in your life that you are currently sacrificing that are not aligned with your values?
- How do you prioritize your time and energy among the various aspects of your life?
- What are some steps you can take to start living in alignment with your values and priorities?
- How can you build a support system to help you stay on track and achieve your goals?
- What is one small step you can take today to move closer to your goals?
By following the above steps, you can get a better understanding of your values and priorities, develop them and start living in alignment with them.
Remember, it’s a process and it takes time and commitment. So, be patient with yourself and trust the journey. You are always in the right place, and now is a great time to exercise your skills at living up to your values.
Additional resources for connecting with your values, purpose, and priorities
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, meaning that I earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, a no extra cost to you.
Books:
- “The Power of Purpose: Find Meaning, Live Longer, Better” by Richard J. Leider is an inspiring read that delves into the importance of having a sense of purpose in our lives. This book is a guide to help you discover your purpose and align your actions with it. It’s filled with practical exercises that will help you take action and live a more meaningful life.
- “The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life” by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander is a game-changer when it comes to thinking about your personal and professional life. This book is packed with practical tools and exercises to help you break through limitations and achieve your goals. It’s an inspiring read that will help you see the world in a new way.
- “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change” by Stephen R. Covey: This book provides a comprehensive framework for personal and professional development. The book covers topics such as goal-setting, time management, and effective communication. Chapter two looks at values.
Videos:
- “Start with Why” TED Talk by Simon Sinek is a must-watch for anyone looking to discover their purpose. The talk explores the concept of “why” – the purpose, cause, or belief that drives an individual or organization. Simon argues that starting with “why” is key to effective communication and building a loyal following.
- “The Power of Vulnerability” TED Talk by Brené Brown is a powerful talk that explores the importance of vulnerability in our personal and professional lives. Brené argues that being open and honest about our vulnerabilities can lead to greater empathy and understanding in our relationships. In the talk Brene shares insights that can help you understand your values.
- “The Surprising Science of Happiness” TED Talk by Dan Gilbert is an eye-opening talk that explores the science of happiness and how our brains process it. Gilbert argues that our happiness is not solely determined by our external circumstances, but also by our internal beliefs and expectations. It’s a must-watch for anyone looking to improve their overall well-being.
Your values and priorities are unique to you and they matter.
Take the time to understand them and make a conscious effort to align your actions with them. Your life and the world around you will be better for it.
Your Turn – please share your thoughts
I’d love to hear from you. What are your values and how do they align with your daily activities? How are you stepping into alignment between your values, purpose, and actions?
~ Cathy
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Feature photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels
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